Sunday, November 6, 2011

Why Facebook Isn't Fun Anymore

Remember when Facebook was fun? When you would look at your friend’s statuses and laugh your ass off at some ridiculous things, and come up with some ridiculous things yourself for your own status just for shits and giggles and to give your pals a good laugh as well?

Yeah, Facebook isn’t like that anymore. Didn’t you get the memo?

I don’t want to pick on anyone here, I really don’t, but can’t anyone come up with anything better than re-posting statuses that deal with shit like “supporting the troops”, or “if you have a great mom”, or “God says it’s his will my wife fucked my neighbor”, or some other crap for fuck’s sake? And when did everyone become so fucking sensitive? If you make a joke or say something that’s remotely biting humor in regards to anything involving religion, abortion, bestiality, or anything outside the norm; you’re an insensitive scumbag that gets reported to Mark Zuckerberg’s underlings and you get the digital equivalent to forty lashes with a wet noodle. Case in point, some time ago I posted a link in regards to discussions of the government pulling the plug on Planned Parenthood, and made a joke regarding abortion…and holy fucking shit did I get lampooned for it in return. I had no idea that I was Facebook friends with so many people that take life and all its unintentional hilarity so damn serious, so many that in fact I got deleted, blocked, AND reported and had said link removed.


On another occasion, I made a joke about homeless people being thrown bottles of booze to play a game I lovingly called “hungry hungry hobos”. After getting quite a few laughs and funny reactions, I was subsequently called ignorant and told that I should watch that shitty Will Smith movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”, which is allegedly proof that not all homeless people are alcoholics. Keep in mind that said douche bag is himself ignorant of the fact that “The Pursuit of Happiness” is not as true a story as was advertised (and is largely known that the man Smith played was in fact a drug-raddled boozer himself) and also has little to no sense of humor…except when repeatedly posting statuses talking about being a “gangsta” in the “streets of Reading, PA” (which if you are not familiar with, is a shitty excuse of a city that’s surrounded by farm land) and hilariously enough can’t seem to read and spell above the third-grade level.

If it’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that life is not worth living if you take EVERY little goddamn thing so seriously. What’s the point of living if you can’t enjoy life and have some fun? Is it really necessary to live life with a stick shoved up your ass and take it out on everybody by raining on their parade? If you do that in real, everyday life, that’s one thing…but being like that on Facebook is something else entirely. It’s the internet for the love of fuck; it’s the absolute least-sacred place in the history of the fucking planet Earth. When people aren’t participating in Facebook-fuckstickery, they’re downloading internet porn. That’s the internet, that’s what it’s designed for: fucking around, jerking off to porn, and being an outlet for those that have to live boring lives. The wankers and fun police shaking their fingers at everything they deem offensive need to take a long look in the mirror and realize that not only does the everyday, real-life world not revolve around them, but the digital world doesn’t either.

In other words, take the sticks out of your collective asses and lighten the fuck up.

Or get laid.


  1. My status updates are always fun. ALWAYS.

  2. If people don't like what they see on the internet, shouldn't they just get the fuck off it?

  3. Good to know I am not the only one who feels this.