Saturday, April 30, 2016

The Good & The Bad About An Animated "Killing Joke"

You know all about "The Killing Joke".

What many consider to be the greatest Batman story of all time, Alan Moore and Brian Bolland's classic tale is going to be the next animated DC movie. And it features Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill reprising their roles as Batman and Joker respectively. Oh, and it's rated R.

Holy shit this is actually happening.

I've loved a majority of DC's animated flicks, most notably "Wonder Woman", "Under the Red Hood", "Batman: Year One", "The Dark Knight Returns", and "The Flashpoint Paradox" among others. Seeing "The Killing Joke" get the same kind of treatment is something I've always wanted to see, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any concerns.

It's the fact that knowing this film is rated R, could it be solely because of the infamous Barbara scene? There's always been a slight hint that Joker may have raped Barbara after shooting her and stripping her to take those pictures in an effort to drive Gordon mad, but it was only ever a slight hint and never spelled directly out at the reader. I'm concerned that maybe that whole scene could become even more exploitative; so much so that it loses that impact the scene in the comic had and totally misses the point.

Other than that, I'm truly excited to see "The Killing Joke" in animated form. I'm excited to see one of the best Batman stories ever appear on screen, and featuring the voices of Conroy and Hamill too no less. Hell, I'm more excited for this than I was for "Batman V Superman" (and I'm one of the very few people that liked that film) or any other comic book blockbuster to hit theaters any time this year.

Get ready folks. With any luck, we'll get animated adaptations of "Kingdom Come" and "Hush" in the near future among the many other DC stories that deserve the treatment.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

In Memory of Chyna and Her Place in the Hall of Fame

The pro wrestling geek in me is weeping. Actually a decent part of me is weeping to be honest. Joanie Laurer, better known as Chyna, has sadly passed away. Yes I know that Prince died too, but I'm not here to talk about Prince, I'm here to talk about Chyna.

Making her debut in WWF in early 1997, Chyna was a true pioneer for women wrestlers. Billed as the bodyguard for Triple H (who would become her off-screen boyfriend), no WWF fan had ever seen a woman like Chyna. With her harsh demeanor and rippling biceps, she looked like a force to be reckoned with, and that's exactly what she was. During the WWF's "Attitude" era, Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock are usually seen as the faces of this era, and so is Chyna. She played an integral role in many storylines as well as being a founding member of the loveable faction DX, and was incredibly over with the crowd as well.

She was the first female entrant to the Royal Rumble as well as the King of the Ring tournament, is the only female to hold the Intercontinental Championship (twice), and was even the number one contender for the Heavyweight Title as well. That is fucking unheard of now when you think about it. While all the other women performers in WWF at the time were mostly eye candy (and booked as such), Chyna was something else. She was flat out legit, and truly gifted as well.

Her time in WWF ended badly, as she was seemingly given a raw deal when Triple H started porking the bosses' daughter Stephanie McMahon and Chyna found herself jobless. Things took a bit of a downturn for her personally, but I'm not judging her one bit. We all know she performed in some porn, but so fucking what? She never had anything negative to say about that industry and she seemed to enjoy her time there, so stop shitting on her already about that yeah?

Now, one thing that has always bothered me is that Chyna has never been inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Reasons for this range from her time in porn to the fact that the WWE brass didn't trust her enough to get up on stage and accept her award without verbally trashing the company in some way. Can't have that now can we. That being said, and as terrible as it sounds, now that she's passed, she will most certainly get in. The sad part is she should have been put in a long time ago. Anyone who says different is a moron. "She did porn!" So what? Look at who's in the Hall of Fame right now:

Ultimate Warrior: a known homophobe and bigot

Randy Savage: probably boned Stephanie McMahon when she was underage (true)

Sunny: she's done porn and is a flat-out nutcase in real life

Scott Hall: killed a guy and had way worse drug problems than Chyna ever did

Jake Roberts: see above (though replace killing a guy with killing his snake)

Jimmy Snuka: possibly murdered his girlfriend

So yeah, Chyna belongs in the Hall of Fame, and she will more than likely get in there very, very soon. It's just a damn shame that she didn't live to see it happen.

Rest in peace Chyna. We love you.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Why We Need a New GODZILLA Film

I have a lot of guilty pleasures in life: pro wrestling, really dumb anime, and motherfucking GODZILLA. My love for Godzilla knows no bounds. It's why I was shitting myself with excitement when the 2014 American take on Godzilla was coming out. While my reaction to that film was...well, mixed; it managed to whet my appetite...kind of.

Now here we are, and Toho is releasing a brand spankin' new Godzilla movie in its native Japan, called "Godzilla: Resurgence". The first video clips of the film have surfaced, and it looks like glorious, dumb, slightly idiotic fun...AKA, a fucking Godzilla movie. And goddammit, this is the Godzilla movie we need and deserve.

At their core, most Godzilla movies revolve around Godzilla taking on another monster, destroying buildings, bringing about a panic, and having many, many nonsensical elements to them that will make you laugh like an idiot. That however is the charm of these flicks for me, and part of what makes me love them so damn much. It's something that most American audiences (or filmmakers) just don't seem to understand. The 1998 US take was a cinematic abortion that didn't understand its source material and instead decided to try to rip off "Jurassic Park". The 2014 American take decided to take a much more serious/disaster flick-style approach similar to the original film that started it all, but kind of lacked where it counted in terms of monster mayhem and action.

"Godzilla: Resurgence" seems to be like the classic kind of goofy Toho fun that we all crave and deserve so much. And goddammit, it's about time. I know we're getting a sequel to the U.S. 2014 version at some point in the future, but I'm not anywhere as excited for what that will probably turn out to be compared to this.

This has me fully erect, I won't lie.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

The Walking Dead V The Walking Butthurt: Dawn of Bullshit

As most (if not all) of you know, there was a time when I really, legitimately loved "The Walking Dead". The comics, the show, everything. That however, was a long time ago. I got tired of the comics, I got super tired of the TV show, and I got just plain bored with the whole marketing blitz/cash-cow that the whole property has become (in hindsight though, I'm happy that Robert Kirkman and Image Comics have raked in the cash though; both deserve it wholeheartedly, and it's proof that indie comics can still be a force to be reckoned with).

Anyway, it's been a long time since I've watched "The Walking Dead", although I've been hearing plenty about it, namely the long-awaited introduction of Negan and the promise that he'll whack a major character. In the comics, when Negan made his first appearance, he slaughtered long time fan-favorite character Glen in brutal fashion. Most people seem to think the show is going to swap out Glen for Daryl, but apparently everyone's going to have to wait until the start of the new season to see whose brains Negan bashes in.

That's right, after weeks and weeks of teasing, fans now have to wait months to see who gets killed. And, knowing how this show goes with dragging shit out, it probably won't get revealed until the end of the season premiere...or hell, maybe even later.

This show sure likes to be a fucking cock tease eh?

For all the faults of the comic, one thing it didn't do was drag shit out. When major shit would hit the fan, it would hit fast and out of nowhere. That's one of the things that made me fall in love with it way back when. The show on the other hand...well, it's always liked to make you wait. You can label it whatever you want, but it's the truth.

Now truth be told, I don't care what develops on the show and what doesn't. The main reason I'm writing about this right now is because seeing all the butthurt fanboys crying about boycotting the show and making petitions to fire showrunner Scott Gimple (then again, this show goes through showrunners like you wouldn't believe) are just a little too much.

We get it, you're pissed. And I'm not saying you shouldn't be either. But if you're really that pissed off about the whole thing, you should prove it by not tuning into the show when it comes back in October. Show some conviction instead of whining about it on the internet only to go back to it when it comes back on air and then sing its praises after.

But no, that's not what's going to happen, and we all know it too.

If there's one silver lining to all this, it's seeing the butthurt fanboys going against the die hard fans defending this bullshit.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Jeepers Creepers 3 & The Pedophile Director

Do I really have to talk about this fucking guy again? I figured I'd said everything that needed saying already, but he's back in the news, so here we are.

Pedophile director Victor Salva seems to finally be getting "Jeepers Creepers 3" off the ground, and boom, he's hit a roadblock. A casting agency in Canada has removed a post from Salva and his people looking to cast actors for this somehow eagerly anticipated sequel...ya know, because not many people are looking to work with a convicted pedophile director. Needless to say, Salva always manages to cause a stir.

For those that somehow don't already know, Victor Salva was convicted of sexual misconduct with the 12-year old star of his 1989 film "Clownhouse", which included molesting the kid and recording the acts. During his arrest, a whole shit load of kiddie porn was discovered in Salva's possession as well. He didn't do much time sadly, and was out in 15 months.

Salva managed to find work after his release, mostly because he's one of legendary director Francis Ford Coppola's golden boys, and ended up making films like "Nature of the Beast", "Powder", and of course, "Jeepers Creepers" and its sequel.

Now yes, some of you will make the argument that "Salva served his time, blah blah blah", or "give him the benefit of the doubt, he hasn't been in trouble since", and to all that, I'll say this: fuck on off.

There's not much in this world that really sets me off, except for three things: rapists, child molesters, and animal abusers. I have no tolerance for them, any of them, and in Salva's case, he should have definitely served longer than 15 fucking months in prison, and shouldn't have been welcomed back in Hollywood to begin with.

There's been talk of doing a "Jeepers Creepers 3" forever now. I hope, I truly fucking hope, this never sees the light of day, and that Salva ends up wasting away into obscurity.

Oh, and by the way...those of you that have been pining for "Jeepers Creepers 3"? Guess what? Those movies are fucking awful, regardless of who directed them.