Well...this isn't so much a Part 2 as it is a collection of shit I forgot to include with the last entry.
Either way, here's some more ways to tell if you or someone you know is a tool:
If the only Phillies games you've ever gone to or watched on TV occured AFTER they won the World Series
If you're a Yankees fan and you're not from New York
If you actually think that marriage is a sacred institution
If you think Megan Fox secures acting roles because of her "acting talent"
If you're over the age of 14 and you do whippets
If you think hockey is a pussy sport because they're on ice skates
If you fail to see the rampant homoeroticism in American football and actually consider it a hardcore type of sport
If you think soccer being called "futbol" everywhere else but America is stupid
If you ever listened to Crazy Town
If you're white and add the word "izzle" onto actual words when you speak
If you wear a cap sideways (and if you do, you should seriously be shot...repeatedly)
If you think that "Pearl Harbor" is the best war movie you've ever seen
If you think zombies are better as the running type than the traditional slow type
If you think George Clooney was the best Batman
If you think we've actually made progress in Iraq
If you're over 40 years old and you Bic your head
If you bought a Nintendo Wii when it first launched and can on one hand how many times you've actually played it
If you think Glenn Beck is intelligent
If you take either Rush Limbaugh or Michael Moore at their words...both of them are equally full of shit
If you shelled out the money for a big-screen HD TV but don't want to pay for cable
If you like the smell of gasoline (guilty)
If you think you're actually doing right by the environment by driving a hybrid
If you enjoy spoiling the endings of movies to people
If you still think "The Matrix" was original
If the only Jackie Chan movies you know about are his Americanized family friendly ones
If you actually pay for porn
...and that folks is all for now!
Remember that we all have some tool-esque qualities that sometimes we just can't help, so if you meet the criteria for a handful of these, fear not...but if you fit the criteria for quite a few of these...well my friend, YOU'RE A FUCKING TOOL!!!!!!
one love...not really :P