Saturday, August 8, 2015


We're getting a "A Nightmare on Elm Street" reboot...for the second time.

Wait, what?

Yes that's right, after the 2010 reboot of the beloved slasher series, we're going to get ANOTHER reboot as well. Why? Was the reception to the 2010 reboot really that bad?

Well...yes, it was. Reception to that was never good to begin with...and it was never going to be. I can't speak for that film myself, because I've never ever seen it. I refused to from the minute I heard about it. While I gave new takes on "Friday the 13th" and "Halloween" a chance in the past, I refused to give one to "A Nightmare on Elm Street", and I still won't.

Now why have I given the newer takes on "Friday the 13th" and "Halloween" a chance whereas I didn't give one to the new "Elm Street"? Well there's a few reasons. For starters, the remakes/reboots/re-whogivesafuckingshit of "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" were shit (granted I actually kind of enjoyed "Friday the 13th"), but we knew they'd be shit going into it. At their hearts, they're just simple slasher fare that features an invincible killer pitted against horny teenagers. The "Elm Street" franchise has always been a lot more high concept than the rest of its slasher ilk. Freddy Kruger haunts your dreams, which means that anything is possible to happen. Even in the worst films of the "Elm Street" franchise, the deaths are super creative. With a modern day reboot produced by Michael fucking Bay, the word "creativity" just doesn't exist. That's why we knew beforehand not to even bother with it; we already knew it'd be total fucking garbage...and hey, we were right.

So because we were right, we're being punished again with ANOTHER reboot. That's right, they're not going to stop beating this dead horse until they can squeeze just a little more cash out of it and get a whole "new" franchise out of it with more sequels, prequels, then more remakes and reboots of those sequels, etc.

Come the fuck on. Those beloved slasher icons from the 70s/80s like Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, Michael Myers, etc. are everlasting because when we first saw them, the films they appeared in were actually good and original and we wanted to see more of them. It was only after a while that we got sick of it all because it winded up being the same old shit, but at least most of those franchises tried to re-invigorate themselves by injecting some new blood now and then without going the remake route (at least at first).

So yeah, we're getting another "Elm Street" whether we want it or not. I think since we didn't want one the last time, what's really changed in the last five years that makes Hollywood execs think we'd want one now?

Don't give into this guys, save your money and time for something at least somewhat original. It's better for all of us that way, plus for the industry as a whole.

Fuck this.

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