Saturday, February 27, 2016

Giving the Finger to the New Ghostbusters Film

We've known about the new, all-female "Ghostbusters" film for a while now, but it looks like the marketing machine is about to kick into high gear. We've already had teasers, set pictures, posters, merchandise, etc.; and even fucking Ecto Cooler is making a comeback apparently. That's right, the nostalgia train is here, and it's time for everyone to get on board for this one way trip to shitsburgh. We're going to be getting a shitty retread of a classic franchise/license that is going to be so half-assed and half-hearted that now when we think about "Ghostbusters", we're going to be thinking about this shitty, modern take on it too.

Yeah, in case you can't tell, I'm not for a new "Ghostbusters" movie.

We've had remakes and reboots of every fucking thing under the sun lately, so it really isn't a surprise that we're getting a "Ghostbusters" one. There was talk of a potential third film for years upon years, but thanks to Bill Murray consistently dragging his feet and the death of Harold Ramis, that became nothing more than a fantasy. Granted we got a pretty cool video game in 2009 that re-united the original cast (which is honestly what I consider to be "Ghostbusters 3"), so at least we got something good out of the deal.

So yeah, the reboot machine got turned on for "Ghostbusters", featuring an all female cast of modern day comedians... oh and apparently there's some kind of involvement from Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd too, who will not be playing their classic roles, but as new characters instead. So yeah, it's a full on reboot, and it looks to be one with little to no thought put into fucking anything. I mean c'mon now, the main antagonist of the film appears to be the ghost from the classic logo. That really took a lot of thought huh?

Look, I don't care if you want to make an all-female "Ghostbusters" film or any other all-female take on any other property. That doesn't bother me at all. What does bother me is that we truly are seeing the bastardization of a beloved property that is being re-processed for mass modern consumption. The classic first "Ghostbusters" film is an example of pure lightning in a bottle. It's a perfect blend of humor, action, and most of all, imagination. To put it bluntly: it's perfect. "Ghostbusters 2"...well, that is far from perfect. Regardless though, it's still enjoyable, and still retains that degree of imagination for it to stand on its own.

This new "Ghostbusters" flick looks devoid of imagination...or anything else really. It's shat-out studio garbage, banking on the fact that it has the name of a beloved property that it will rake in a shit load of money so it can spawn a whole new franchise of mediocrity and keep that money train coming in. How about we not let that happen guys? It's only when you stop giving studios your ticket money that they'll stop making the shit film adaptations of beloved properties that everyone (me included) bitch about on the internet.

So yeah, in case you can't tell, I won't be seeing the new "Ghostbusters" flick when it comes out. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't see it either.

Then again, if there's a steady paycheck involved, I'll believe anything you say.

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