Friday, January 8, 2016


So...this is news.

M. Night Shyamalan, AKA the writer/director that peaked with his first film "The Sixth Sense" and has made nearly nothing but pure cinematic shit ever since, is going to be rebooting "Tales From the Crypt" for TNT.

Yes you read that right. Motherfucking M. Night Shyamalan is rebooting "Tales From the Crypt". I seriously can't fucking believe this is a legitimate thing that is happening. Holy mother of fucking Satan, hearing this made me literally shit a brick.

A legitimate brick of shit came out of my ass.

To say that "Tales From the Crypt" is beloved to me is saying it lightly. This was what made me begin my love of horror in my youth, and from what I remember, may be my first taste of gore and boobs. Well, we definitely won't be getting either of those on TNT will we? Know what else we're not gonna get?

There won't be a Cryptkeeper.

Yes folks that's right, Shyamalan's first order of business is to can the Cryptkeeper. Ya know, it should really go without saying that "Tales From the Crypt" without the Cryptkeeper isn't really fucking "Tales From the Crypt" is it?

So let's get this straight: we're getting a reboot of "Tales From the Crypt" that will be from the guiding hand of one of the most overrated and self-obsessed directors working in Hollywood today, that will be on prime time basic cable TV, and will feature no Cryptkeeper...

...yeah, this is gonna be great right?

Fuck this. Fuck TNT. And most of all, fuck you Shyamalan.

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