Sunday, July 1, 2012

Thoughts On the "Highlander" Remake...Starring Ryan Fucking Reynolds (Ugh...)

I have a lot of guilty pleasures in my life: grindhouse films, cheesy horror flicks from the 80s, and cigarettes among others…but there’s one guilty pleasure that trumps them all, and that’s “Highlander”. The films, the TV show, the animated series, yes folks, I fucking love “Highlander”. Granted that the first film was truly the only one in the series worth a shit and the long-running live-action TV series got plain fucking ridiculous towards the last two or three seasons, but goddamnit I love everything “Highlander” regardless. The swordplay, the sorcery, the action, the fact that these people that live forever can kill each other by cutting off each other’s heads, I love it all.

With all that being said, the “Highlander” franchise is one of the few franchises that I actually do think should be rebooted from the ground up for a new generation, and low and behold, we’re getting a straight up “Highlander” remake in the very near future. So near in fact that the casting has already been announced as to who will play our hero Connor Macleod in the upcoming remake…and it’s none other than fucking Ryan Reynolds. Yes folks, the overexposed actor that helped ruin “Green Lantern” and rarely plays as being anything other than tongue-in-cheek will be playing the Scottish-born immortal warrior. Makes perfect sense right?

I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and call this the worst mis-casting since…well, since Reynolds was mis-cast as Hal Jordan in “Green Lantern”. He has a wise-ass aura about him that he just can’t help, and for the life of me I can’t see that translating well into a serious take on “Highlander”, unless the people behind it are seeking to make a somewhat goofy or not too serious remake. Personally, I always had someone like Gerard Butler pictured in my head as being the star of a new take on “Highlander”, mostly because he has the scowl and he’s fucking Scottish. In any case, that just sounds horrible no matter what kind of light you look at a Ryan Reynolds-starring “Highlander” remake. It has the potential to be anything but horrible, and then with Reynolds thrown into the equation, it just becomes a recipe for shit.

I’d sooner fuck a sheep than watch this trainwreck.

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