25 Years of "Cowboys From Hell"

25 years ago, an album was dropped upon the world that changed the metal scene forever…yes, forever. That album? Pantera’s “Cowboys From Hell”. While it wasn’t their first recorded material to see the light of day, this was their major label debut, and it became a surprise hit in the process.

“Cowboys From Hell” contained numerous heavy, yet somehow surprisingly catchy, songs that combined elements from Pantera’s glam-rock roots with much heavier rhythms. The opening title track? Fucking classic. “Cemetery Gates”? Also fucking classic (and the very first Pantera song I ever heard in my youth). “Domination”? One of the band’s most notable songs with an insane drum performance that made Vinnie Paul one of the all time kings of thrash metal drumming.

Phil Anselmo demonstrated impressive vocal range on “Cowboys From Hell”, managing to hit high notes that he could rarely hit in the years to come (then again, this was before he murdered his voice with the years of drinking, smoking, and drugs), along with the shredding guitar work of the late, great Dimebag (then called “Diamond”) Darrell. Rex Brown’s pumping bass lines and Vinnie Paul’s aforementioned drum assaults all combined to let the world know that metal music was phasing out of the glam-rock era, and evolving into something new and heavier with little to no compromises.

That in itself is the legacy of Pantera as a whole. They never compromised in terms of what was “hot” at the times they released their five studio albums. Though 1992’s “Vulgar Display of Power” and 1994’s “Far Beyond Driven” I feel are better all-around albums than “Cowboys From Hell”, it doesn’t negate the fact that this was the album that announced to the world that Pantera was here to do something a little different, and helped forge a legacy that just can’t be fucked with.

Now do yourself a favor: go listen to “Cowboys From Hell” from beginning to end. Maybe it’ll be the first time in a long time, maybe it’ll be the first time period. Either way, go do it.

Thank me later.

I'm About to Make You Feel Old

Look at that fucking guy right there. He looks like shit right? The thinning hair, the graying beard, the inbred genes finally rearing their ugly head. Poor old bastard.
So, you ready to feel old as shit?
Last time I talked about how it's the 20th anniversary of NHL 94, and I got nostalgic...so anyway...
It's 2014. This year I will hit the big 3-0 (no I'm not exactly looking forward to it) and it kind of terrifies me. It's not getting to 30 in itself (that alone is just plain surprising, and anyone who has known me well enough through the years will attest to that) that terrifies me per se, but the fact that so much which I hold in high regard, whether it be music, film, or whatever, is now older than I realized...so old now that it makes my head hurt.

Anyway, here's a list of shit hitting some unreal ages, so strap yourselves in folks:



Albums "Superunknown" by Soundgarden, "Jar of Flies" by Alice in Chains, "Far Beyond Driven" by Pantera, "Dookie" by Green Day, "The Downward Spiral" by Nine Inch Nails, "Point Blank" by Nailbomb, "This Toilet Earth" by Gwar, "Smash" by Offspring, "Throwing Copper" by Live, "Live Through This" by Hole, "Purple" by Stone Temple Pilots, "Voodoo Lounge" by the Rolling Stones, "Portrait of an American Family" by Marilyn Manson, "Burn My Eyes" by Machine Head, "Divine Intervention" by Slayer, "Youthanasia" by Megadeth, "Vitalogy" by Pearl Jam and the major label debuts from Weezer, Bush, and Korn were all released in 1994...they're all 20 years old.

April 5th marks the 20 year anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death.

The original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is 40 years old, released in 1974.

Next year, "Jaws" will also turn 40.

"Tales from the Crypt" went off the air nearly 18 years ago in 1996.

The Nintendo GameBoy is 25 years old this year, released in 1989.

This year marks the 15th anniversary of the release of the Sega Dreamcast, as well as the first 3-D Sonic the Hedgehog-starring game, "Sonic Adventure".

The original "The Matrix" was released 15 years ago in 1999. So was Kevin Smith's "Dogma" and the classic "Fight Club".

"The Terminator" and "Ghostbusters" were released 30 years ago in 1984.

The original "Transformers" animated series and toyline debuted in North America 30 years ago
as well.

Image Comics, home to "Spawn", "Savage Dragon", "Witchblade", "The Walking Dead", and more, was founded 22 years ago in 1992.

"The Walking Dead" comic series has been running for 11 years, starting in 2003.

"Robot Chicken" first aired almost ten years ago, starting in 2005.

The original Universal Monster films, ("Dracula", "Frankenstein", and "The Mummy") are either over, or approaching, 80 years old.

Hulk Hogan left the WWF to sign with WCW in the summer of 1994.

The New York Rangers won their first Stanley Cup in 54 years in 1994.

In September 1994, Major League Baseball players went on a strike that cancelled the World Series.



So yeah...feel old yet?

Nine Years Without Dimebag Darrell

Nine years ago today we lost a modern day legend. Dimebag Darrell Abbot was senselessly taken from us far too soon in an event that shook the heavy metal community. I was 20 years old and had just come home from class at the local community college I was going to at the time when I logged on to the internet and the first thing I see is a front page news article that said the following:

"HEAVY METAL GUITARIST SHOT DEAD AT CONCERT"

The picture under the headline was of Dimebag, and before I could even click to read the rest of it, I felt my heart sink. I felt tears start to drop down my cheeks. I couldn't believe what the fuck I was reading...and I hadn't even clicked on the link yet to read the whole story.

We all know what happened to Dimebag. We all know how tragic and senseless it all was and all the ramifications that came from it as time went on. What I want to talk about here is what Dimebag Darrell meant to me.

In my youth, I was a devoted metal head. Most of the crowd I ran with were metal heads as well, although they were more into Korn and Limp Bizkit than Megadeth and Slayer like I was (granted I guess I indulged a bit in the "nu-metal" wave that was escalatingly popular back then, just to be a poser douche I guess in retrospect), but above nearly all the metal bands I loved, I loved none more than Pantera. There was so much to love about Pantera that really spoke to me personally: Phil Anselmo's angst-ridden lyrics, the ballsy and dark subject matter, and of course those shredding, extreme, cock fucking your ear guitar solos that helped set Pantera apart from most of the rest of the pack. Their music spoke to me, and I loved them so fucking much.

I had gotten to see Pantera five times in concert before their breakup. At one of those shows I got to meet Dimebag in person. I was a teenager. He gave me a beer. From that point forward he was my favorite in the whole world.

Besides that, it was Dimebag's manner and how he presented himself to the fans and to others. He never came off with that "rockstar" attitude where by the end of talking to him you thought that he was a total ass hole. He was just one of the guys. He never let success and all the admiration he had received over the years get to his head. Dimebag (and generally speaking most of Pantera) treated their fans wonderfully. Always happy to sign autographs. Always smiling. Always having the time of his life on stage like he was a kid all over again.

That was Dimebag Darrell.

The events that led to Dime's death make his untimely death all the more tragic. The heavy metal community has never been the same since, and in all honesty it never really will be ever again. That's how beloved and revered Dime was, and just how unforgettable he ended up proving to be, as an artist and a person.

Nine years gone Dime, and we all still miss you madly.

Metallica and Lou Reed...Make One Big Pile of Shit

What the fuck happened here?

That’s the real question that permeated throughout my brain, when the real question I should ask instead is just simply, “why?” Why did these two fuckholes decide to collaborate together? Why did Lou Reed and Metallica decide to make this fucking train wreck of an album called “Lulu”?

Let me start by saying that despite all the negativity surrounding Metallica over the years (most of it deserved), I remained a huge fan throughout my youth. There's no denying the impact the band has had on the metal genre, bringing it to mainstream audiences like no band ever could before, and in all honesty, no band has really been able to do since. Acts over the years like Korn, Disturbed, and countless others have achieved great deals of mainstream success, but didn't have either the staying power, or the mix of raw talent and songwriting ability that Metallica had all throughout the 1980s to the late 90s. Well, okay, it was the talent that these groups of assclowns were completely devoid of.

Now, here we are.

The most legendary metal band other than Black Sabbath uniting with legendary singer/songwriter Lou Reed to bring us "Lulu"; a collaboration of two distinctly different acts that could either be a smashing success or a complete and utter train wreck. Well folks, "Lulu" is possibly the biggest train wreck of music I think I've ever heard. With the Metallica boys in the background and Lou on vocals, "Lulu" is an unimaginative mess. Every single track on this album sounds so disjointed and just plain ugly that you'll be plugging your ears from the get-go. I'm not exaggerating here or kidding either, "Lulu" isn’t just plain horrible, it’s a musical abortion.

The real tragedy about this is these two legendary acts combining to make this. It wasn't a match that made sense to begin with, which is kind of what honestly made me look kind of forward to it in the first place: it was something different. Well, it is something different alright, it's just plain garbage. It's a shame too; "Lulu" could have been something that at least warranted a listen for fans of either, or any, music genre just for the sake of curiosity alone. Instead, this is what we're left with: a gaping black hole of an album that makes me want to shit my pants in utter amazement and overall sadness. Sadness because Lou Reed is a legend in his own right, and Metallica was the pioneering thrash band that came out of the Bay Area and took the world by storm.

No matter what these acts do from this day forward, their legendary status cannot ever really be questioned by anyone but their respective haters.

But no matter how legendary their status is and possibly always will be, they can’t ever deny that they crafted “Lulu”, which is the equivalent of that red-headed kid you conceived that night when you cheated on your husband with the bartender and tried to abort it with a wire hanger, only to fail miserably, scar its face, and eventually give birth in the office basement and keep it hidden with a steady diet of peanut shavings and Robitussin.

In other words, it’s a mistake that was known upon its conception, went through with anyway, and now is hated and despised by all that encounter it.

The Big 4: Do a Fucking American Tour!

Metallica

Slayer

Megadeth

Anthrax



These four acts birthed the thrash music genre in the 80s, forever being linked together as being “The Big 4”. All more or less hailing from the southern California area, The Big 4 took inspiration from such classic acts as Black Sabbath and KISS before them, and crafted some of the most unbelievably memorable metal music in the history of the music industry. Flash forward to today, and the impact that these four bands have had on the genre still resonates, maybe now more than ever.

That’s why when news that all four groups were getting together for a European festival tour sent shockwaves throughout the metal community. Then, just a day or two ago, it was hinted that there would be a major announcement coming about re-uniting here in the States. Immediately upon hearing this, I nearly shit my pants in excitement. The thought that maybe they’d be going out on a full-blown American tour would be too good to pass up to say it lightly, and then the news came…

They’re playing one show in Indio, California at Empire Polo Field.

What the fuck?

Let’s get a few things straight first of all. There may be more shows on the horizon that spread throughout the rest of the country. Also, even if there is only one show, I can understand performing it in California, based on the fact that all four bands call the state their home and that’s where they first achieved some fame and really got noticed. That being said, I can understand these guys playing there, maybe kind of going back to their roots, to where it all began. Then again, if The Big 4 doesn’t kick off a full-blown American tour, I’ll instead be shitting my pants in disappointment.

Say what you will about Metallica, it’s all been said plenty of times before. They sold out. They sued Napster. They’re only in it for the money any more. All of that is fairly true, but the reality of the situation is this: Metallica made metal music mainstream, which is nothing short of an amazing feat. I’ve seen them twice in my life, and no matter what I or anyone else may think of them, I dare anyone to tell me that they don’t get chills driven down their spines when they belt out “Fade to Black”. These guys still have the talent and the will to deliver powerful, head-banging music that still puts any recent metal band to hit the big time to shame.

Slayer is a band that people either love or hate, simple as that. Superstar producer Rick Rubin helped the band perfect their brutality and talent for album treatments, perfectly reconstructing the energy and power of their live performances for audio listeners. Though Slayer has seemingly suffered moments of self-parody with their last few albums, the impact that they have had cannot be denied.

Megadeth, fronted and founded by ex-Metallica guitarist Dave Mustaine as a giant middle finger to his former bandmates, is thrash metal at its near finest to this day. Disregard their late 90s releases, and nearly everything this band has put out has been hard, heavy, and features some of the most pure and brilliant songwriting to see the light of day. That, and the fact that Mustaine was told some years ago that he’d never play guitar again and has since defied that diagnosis to fucking infinity, just illustrates how undying Megadeth is.

Anthrax has never had as much mainstream success as the other three bands that make up The Big 4, but their contributions are incredible regardless. These guys have stuck by their roots, even in the midst of different singers in different eras, but no matter what, Anthrax delivers powerful thrash music, and are one of the few bands I’ve seen live that actually manage to have fun on stage doing what they do. That, and the fact that guitarist/co-founder Scott Ian is a fucking madman helps make Anthrax as entertaining today as they have been throughout their whole existence.

As you can tell, I have a lot of love for The Big 4, even though I'm not nearly the metal head that I was in my youth. Despite that,my love for them is so much that if these guys do decide to do a full-blown American tour and snub the Philadelphia area, I’m willing to catch them in another city and/or state. This really is a once-in-a-lifetime deal to see these guys together and live. Ticket prices will no doubt be ridiculous, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay just to say that I was there. I’ve seen all four of them by themselves throughout the years, and Jesus Christ I even find myself debating internally about making a trip to California in April to be there first hand, so maybe you can understand my excitement about all this.

And oh yeah, if they do end up dicking over the rest of the States, well…you can bet on finding an eventual angry blog down the road written by yours truly.

As soon as I’m done shitting myself that is.