The LA Kings Win the Cup...Hell Freezes Over

Oh hockey, how I love you. The most unlikely Stanley Cup champion in quite some time, the Los Angeles Kings had so much going against them that it’s a wonder they got as far as they did in the playoffs, let alone be the team to hoist the Cup. They barely got in the playoffs to begin with, and then they did the impossible: they went on a 16-4 tare, knocking out the three best teams in the Western Conference (and the NHL as a whole) before taking out the New Jersey Devils in 6 games. Yes folks, it’s unbelievable. What makes it unbelievable you ask? Well, let’s look at what they overcame to take it all the way:

The Kings stumbled out of the gate in the beginning of the season, leading them to fire their coach (and Flyers alumnus) Terry Murray, replacing him with Daryl Sutter midway through the year. They continued to stumble, barely squeaking into the post-season and struggling under Sutter’s defense-first system. But Jesus Christ almighty, they did it. Sutter, who was last seen in the NHL as the GM that mismanaged the Calgary Flames into oblivion, did the impossible.

In the off-season, they acquired Mike Richards, and at the trade deadline, acquired his drinking buddy/wingman Jeff Carter; both of whom had been exiled from the Flyers for their hard-partying ways. They also signed former Flyer Simon Gagne, who is a shell of his former self after numerous injuries. Not to mention the fact that they had Dustin Penner: a player that had been persecuted for his lack of game-shape-ness and the fact he hurt himself eating pancakes (I’m dead serious). Yet somehow, they came together to win it all.

For everything the Kings had going against them, they managed to win their first championship in their 45 year history. Something they couldn’t do when they had Wayne Gretzky, Luc Robitaille, Rob Blake, or Jarri Kurri. They did it with a coach and players that were seen as massive underachievers. They grinded it out against a tough Devils team, and rode the back of lights-out goaltender (and former Reading Royals product) Jonathan Quick. They were the lowest-seeded team in the NHL playoffs, and they managed to pull it all off with dominance. This folks is why I love hockey and why I love the NHL: anything can happen, even the impossible.

Okay, now with all that out of the way, here’s a list of Flyers alumni that were part of this Kings team that won it all: Richards, Carter, Gagne, Justin Williams, assistant coach John Stevens, GM Dean Lombardi, and assistant GM (and Flyers goaltender great) Ron Hextall. Yeah, these guys were called Flyers West for a reason.

Also, let’s start taking the over/under now for Richards and/or Carter dying from alcohol poisoning within the next couple days.

Laying the Non-Playoff NHL Teams to Rest.

Ah yes, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when 16 NHL teams qualify for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. And that time of year when the 14 teams that didn’t make wonder what might have been. For all 14 teams that didn’t make the cut, it’s time to properly eulogize them, because really for some of these clubs, there’s no reason why they shouldn’t have made the cut in the first place. In other words…R.I.P., and see y’all next year.



THE WESTERN CONFERENCE



CALGARY FLAMES

After the years of mismanagement at the hands of Darryl Sutter, it’s a wonder this team even got as close as they did to making the big dance. Because of this, we lay the Flames to rest, as well as the hopes that they’re two bright shining stars in franchise captain Jarome Iginla and star goalie Miikka Kiprusoff will retire wearing the flaming C on their sweaters. They’ll be gone in order to hasten a true rebuilding effort, which is what this club has so desperately needed for so very long. In the end, it’ll be bittersweet, but the chance to see both stars have a chance at actually winning something with different teams is of no one’s fault but Flames management.


DALLAS STARS

After doing so well in the beginning of the season, the Stars just couldn’t stay consistent when it mattered most. As a result, we now lay the Stars to rest because in the end they just couldn’t muster up the testicular fortitude to win when it counted. True, they were much better than many had predicted they would be after star center Brad Richards spurned them for the bright lights of New York, but if it’s one phrase that should be etched on the Stars’ tombstone, it should read “too little, too fucking late”.


COLORADO AVALANCHE

Two seasons ago, the Avs overachieved with a young team. Last year, they imploded and were beyond horrible. This year, the Avs were a better group, but like the Stars, they couldn’t win when it mattered most. We lay my beloved Avalanche to rest thanks to lackluster coaching, and a general managed in Greg Sherman that obviously doesn’t know how to truly make a team better. You don’t make a team better by barely spending to the cap, you don’t make a team better by trading your first round draft picks for an overrated and oft-injured goaltender (Semyon Varlamov), and you certainly don’t make your team better by signing spare parts players to fill top-six roles (Chuck Kobasew anyone?). Those days of Sakic, Forsberg, and Roy seem so, so long ago…


MINNESOTA WILD

Believe it or not, there was a time this season when the Wild were the best team in the league. Yeah…that didn’t last all that long. When you can’t score but you play great defense, you can win games. But when your one key player (Mikko Koivu) gets hurt for a substantial period of time and your defense turns to shit overnight, you don’t win games anymore. In fact, you lose quite a few of them. The Wild were so pathetic down the stretch that it boggles the mind how with all the moves this team made in the off-season, they still wound up being just as lackluster as many predicted they would be. So we lay the Wild to rest, but just like the style they play, the event is so boring that everyone falls asleep during the ceremony.


ANAHEIM DUCKS

Holy. Mother. Of. God. What happened to the Ducks? They stumble out of the gate just playing absolutely horrible, shit-can their coach, and hire the recently shit-canned Washington Capitals coach Bruce Beaudreau to work the same kind of magic with this team that he did when he first came on with the Caps. Yeah…how’d that work out again? With all that, we now lay these Ducks to rest, but at least there is some promise that this team can be competitive again in the near future. Whether that future includes future Hall-of-Famer and Duck for life Teemu Selanne remains to be seen. If it doesn’t, it’s sad to see Teemu go out anywhere less than being on top.


EDMONTON OILERS

Another year in the basement, another draft lottery pick. Granted this is how many assumed the Oilers would do anyway, so it isn’t like it’s a colossal disappointment. Rookie sensation Ryan Nugent-Hopkins proved he’s the real deal in an injury-shortened debut campaign, while second year pro Jordan Eberle had a star-making season. That, and Captain Canada himself Ryan Smyth made a welcome return to his beloved Oilers, which provided both wonderful nostalgia and a woeful reminder that the man is getting a little too long in the tooth for all this shit. So we lay these Oilers to rest (again) but the flame burning for the future has never looked brighter for this franchise…ya know, as long as they start drafting some blue-chip defensemen this time around instead of more fucking forwards.


COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS

Ah yes, the asshole of the Western Conference, and the NHL as a whole. The Jackets were so damn bad that they ran their big off-season acquisition Jeff Carter out of town, and even managed to make franchise cornerstone Rick Nash want to finally pack his bags and get the fuck out of dodge. Not that I blame Nash, the guy generally wants to win, and he finally realizes that he sure as shit ain’t gonna do that in fucking Columbus. The most mismanaged team in the NHL for the last decade; the Jackets are going to go nowhere fast. They can try rebuilding the roster (again and again) all they want, but it won’t do any good. As we lay these Blue Jackets to rest again, let us take the time to consider laying them to rest for good. Winnipeg finally got an NHL team back, and there are more deserving cities that want and need an NHL team. Whether it be Quebec, Hamilton, or even Kansas fucking City, Columbus is the asshole of the NHL, and nothing but shit has spewed from it since the team first broke into the league.





THE EASTERN CONFERENCE



BUFFALO SABRES

Big things appeared to be on the horizon for the Sabres entering this season. They got a mega-rich owner, acquired some high profile players, and appeared poised to do some serious damage in the NHL. Alas, nothing went well for the team from the opening puck drop. The Sabres fell apart from the beginning, and though the team heated up down the stretch, it was another case of too little, too fucking late as they just narrowly missed getting in the playoffs. So we lay these Sabres to rest, but thankfully they’ll have the financial backing for a grand Viking funeral. A grand Viking funeral that costs a lot of cash and just leaves you wanting more…ya know, just like the fucking team.


TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING

Another team that it was thought big things were on the horizon for, the Lightning fell apart as well, but this was mostly thanks to the abysmal goaltending from 40-some year old Dwayne Roloson. I always called GM and legendary Red Wings captain Steve Yzerman a genius in progress, but this time around he really screwed the pooch. At least he has the cupboard stacked with prospects and draft picks though, so the future doesn’t appear so bleak. And oh yeah, some guy named Steven Stamkos scored 60 goals this year too. So, we lay the Lightning to rest, but like the Oilers, the future looks pretty damn bright.


WINNIPEG JETS

The team formerly known as the Atlanta Thrashers stayed in the thick of the playoff race for a while, but faded when things really counted. Still, even though we’re laying these resurrected Jets to rest now, the fact that the Jets even exist again is reason enough to celebrate. And goddamnit, the sound of those home crowds. Just watch any clips of Jets games this year, and I guarantee that you will not hear a building erupting like that anywhere else in the NHL. Not in Pittsburgh, not in New York, not even the hockey Mecca’s of Toronto and Montreal. Winnipeg is back, and even though they missed out on the post-season, having them back is a truly wonderful thing.


CAROLINA HURRICANES

Getting off to the hilariously disastrous start of the season, the ‘Canes got a new coach, but kept the same schmucks on their roster. They managed to appear to turn the corner eventually, and the ‘Canes brass believes that this season was only an aberration and that they are much better than they seemed to be. Yeah, about that… Let’s face facts, the ‘Canes suck. They’ve made the playoffs twice since the lockout. Yeah they won a Cup in the first post-lockout year, but that was the true aberration. In fact, a lot of things that happened that season could be seen as aberrations…such as the magical run of the Oilers, Scott Gomez scoring 30 goals, and Peter Forsberg playing for the Flyers. Anyway, we lay the Hurricanes to rest, and there’s reason to believe they’ll be stinking up their grave for some time to come.


TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

For a good chunk of the season, the Leafs appeared poised to finally make their ravenous fans happy and get in the playoffs. Then, shit just went fucking nuts. They catastrophically fell apart after the All-Star break, shit-canned their coach, and just kept on losing and losing and losing. So, again, we lay the Leafs to rest. And we might as well not even bother covering the casket in dirt either. After all, it ain’t like this team is fucking going anywhere any time soon.


NEW YORK ISLANDERS

Every time we think the Isles are actually going to make some big time progress and not suck, they come back and surprise with just how much they do suck. They have an offensive stud in franchise center John Tavares, and for all the good moves that GM Garth Snow does make, his nigh-retarded owner/boss Charles Wang just keeps sticking his dick in the ass of the franchise again and again. Somebody please, buy this once proud franchise to bring it back to its former glory. With all that being said, we again lay the Islanders to rest, in the hopes that someone will come along and bring them back from the dead…eventually.


MONTREAL CANADIENS

Does it make me a bad hockey fan because I oh so love when the Habs do horribly? Talk to any Canadiens fan, and they’ll beat your head in with all the shit about winning 20-some Cups in their storied history. And that’s just what they have, history. They haven’t won the Cup since 1993 and their management situation is in utter disarray. Combine that with a cavalcade of bad contracts and a fan base that is practically insane, and there you are. So now, we lay the Canadiens to rest, and I implore you all to do what you can to refrain from pissing and shitting all over the grave. On second thought…na, fuck it, go ahead.




ENJOY THE PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaromir Jagr...WTF?!?!

It seems that like the beginning of every Free Agency period every off-season in the NHL is a flat-out circus. I had already mentioned my slight displeasure at the Flyers surprise off-loading of Mike Richards and Jeff Carter for an overrated goaltender that doesn’t respond well to pressure, and a handful of young players and prospects, but on the first day of Free Agency, the Flyers managed to surprise yet again with one of the flat-out strangest signings I can ever remember them making. They signed a player that at one time (specifically the 90s) managed to run all over the team whenever they clashed, a player who has spent the last three years playing in Russia’s KHL league and many thought would make a return to the Pittsburgh Penguins to properly close out his career in the NHL…

Yeah, you remember this guy named Jaromir Jagr?

Growing up a hockey fan throughout my youth in the 90s, the biggest names in hockey were Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux: two legendary players that re-defined the way the game is played. Behind them though was Jagr; the magnificently talented Czech who seemed to do no wrong playing with Lemieux in Pittsburgh. Even when Lemieux was absent due to injuries or his multiple retirements, Jagr carried the Penguins to the playoffs seemingly year after year, capturing scoring titles and even a Hart Trophy for MVP. The man, the mullet, the ability to turn a game upside down by himself, that was the Jaromir Jagr we all know and remember.

But that was quite some time ago.

Having last played for the New York Rangers three years ago, and still making an impact in the league mind you, Jagr bolted for the KHL seemingly in pursuit for more cash, and why not? He’s been a Stanley Cup champion, an MVP, an Olympic Gold Medalist; he’s done it all. So it only seemed natural that Jagr would come back to the NHL to bookend his career playing for the team that he did so much for in a long period of time…

…then he goes and shocks the shit out of everyone and signs with the fucking Flyers.

Unlike a majority of Flyers fans, I was actually excited (albeit fucking bewildered) about the signing. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I’d ever see Jaromir fucking Jagr in the orange and black. I never thought there may come a time when he’d be playing on Philly ice and actually getting cheered (which granted, hasn’t happened yet). I never thought I’d see the Flyers make such a bizarre signing either…but then again I never thought I’d see the Flyers jettison the supposed “core” of their team either. Please note that when I say the signing of Jagr is bizarre, I mean that in terms of it being completely unpredictable; no one could believe that this has happened. Since the signing, there have been plenty of detractors, but one thing here is for sure, this may in fact be the most interesting and drama-worthy lineup the Flyers have had in quite some time.

Now, just think about this for a second: a locker room that features frequently outspoken guys like Jagr, Chris Pronger, Ilya Bryzgalov, and Scott Hartnell. Can you see any personality clashes on the horizon? I would fucking love to be a fly on that wall when the losing streak starts…

Fucking Up the Flyers...Even More!

Paul Holmgren, what in the fucking shit?

Just a year ago, the Philadelphia Flyers were in the Stanley Cup Finals, losing to the Chicago Blackhawks; mostly due to the fact that they were just plain outgunned in nearly every aspect, but it was their goaltending that received the most criticism. Now here we are today, and the Flyers managed to finally lock up goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov to a ridiculous contract that will pay him until he hits 40 years old. But besides the 9 year, 51 million dollar contract, obtaining Bryzgalov cost the franchise more than anyone would have thought: Mike Richards and Jeff Carter.

Carter and Richards are the two names that fans most associate with the Flyers today. These two were looked upon as the future of the franchise for at least the next decade. Richards is in year three of a 12-year deal, while Carter inked an 11 year deal just this past November. Now, they are both gone, Carter to the Columbus Blue Jackets, and Richards to the Los Angeles Kings. Carter was the high flying, goal-scoring center, Richards was supposedly the next Bobby Clarke. Now they’re both gone, and all the Flyers have to show for it is a First Round Draft Pick, a Third Rounder, promising youngsters Wayne Simmonds and Jakub Vorachek, and what is now the highest paid goaltender in the league today with Bryzgalov.

First off, let me get one thing out of the way: change was needed. The Flyers needed to clear cap space with or without Bryzgalov, and Carter had been involved in trade rumors for a while now, so that in itself isn’t much of a surprise. But trading your captain? The guy who is supposed to be the face of the franchise for the next decade plus? The guy who led the team to the Finals a year ago and helped them overcome a now legendary and unheard of 3-0 deficit against the Bruins? Really? It was obvious that there was a rift between Richards, head coach Peter Laviolette, and a good chunk of the Flyers locker room, most notably Chris Pronger. But now, Richards and Carter are both gone, two guys in the primes of their careers, a dynamic one-two punch that weren’t the main problem the Flyers have had. Off the ice drama aside (i.e., Carter supposedly banging Scott Hartnell’s wife) and disasters dealing with the media (Richards wasn’t the best at dealing with the press), these were the guys I envisioned leading the team to at least some kind of glory…then again, people said the same thing about Eric Lindros and John LeClair too.

Who knows how this will all pan out in the end? With Bryzgalov signed, both newcomers Simmonds and Vorachek are restricted free-agents, meaning they need new contracts (and raises), which will put the Flyers up against the salary cap yet again, so it’s more than likely that there will be more moves ahead. For now, this is Chris Pronger’s team, which we all know is the way that he wanted it. Yeah, the 35-ish year old future Hall of Fame defenseman who we’ve taken over the two mid-20s faces of the franchise. It’s going to be a long, LONG hockey season here in Philly, and that isn’t even the saddest part either. The LA Kings (when healthy) are legitimate Cup contenders, with a foundation and nucleus built through the draft (which, if the past few years since the lockout has indicated, you have to build through the draft and do it well and timely to really put together a winner), and now they’ve added Mike Richards. Who wants to take the over/under on whether it’s Philly or LA that wins a Cup first?

I can’t even really blame Paul Holmgren too much here either, for Flyers founder/chairman Ed Snider made it known to the GM that he wanted a big-name, legitimate goalie right the fuck right now, consequences be damned. Well, the consequences are pretty heavy right now, and if Bryzgalov fumbles (a 31 year-old goalie that plays great in the regular season but is absolutely horrible come playoff time) the fans will no doubt be in a goddamn revolt. Personally, I see him as the reincarnation of Roman Cechmanek (how’s that for a name drop?)…and we all know how THAT ended up turning out in the end don’t we?



Fucking Flyers.

The Bruins Win the Cup, and the Hockey Gods Piss on Vancouver...a Lot

I said it before and I’ll say it again, the official tagline for the NHL should be, “this is hockey, shit happens”. Such a description would have been a perfect fit in the aftermath of the final showdown between the Canucks and Bruins, as the shit really hit the fan in various parts of Vancouver. That above picture? It’s made the rounds and in the span of a few days, has become quite famous…more than likely because we’re about two degrees away from seeing this chick’s snatch pop out, but I digress. What happened in Vancouver was a travesty and a shock...both in terms of the destruction and the hockey game itself.

The Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup…and the hockey gods once again took out their collective wangs and took a big ‘ol piss on the Vancouver Canucks. If only the hockey gods would have kept their streams going long enough to put out the fires in Vancouver afterwards when the city went apeshit in the wake of seeing their hometown NHL team get blown out in a Game 7 loss to the Bruins that decided the Cup, only adding to the fact that in the 40 years of their existence, the Canucks have never won shit. The last time the Canucks were in the Finals was the first time: 1994 against the Mark Messier-led New York Rangers, who also took the Canucks to seven games before winning it all. That same pain and anguish that was all over the faces of than Canucks like Trevor Linden, Pavel Bure, and Kirk McLean was seen again on current Canucks Ryan Kesler, Roberto Luongo, and of course the Henrik and Daniel Sedin.

To make a long story short, the Bruins earned the Cup just based on the fact that they outworked the Canucks in nearly every way. They played physical, knocked the Sedin’s around, made Kesler ineffectual, and made Luongo look like the worst goalie on the planet. Were it not for having the ageless Tim Thomas in net and the hulking Zdeno Chara patrolling the defense, who knows how the matchup would have turned out instead? And speaking of Thomas, the Bruins goalie continues to defy odds. He’s pushing 40 years old, and spent a majority of his career in the minors before ever playing an NHL game, and now he’s a Cup winner, a playoff MVP, and will more than likely capture his second Vezina Trophy for league’s top goaltender. The other ageless one on the Bruins roster, former Flyer Mark Recchi, has called it a career after winning his third Cup with a third franchise. Next stop for Recchi: Hall of Fame.

All things considered when matched up against one another, the Canucks should have had this one in the bag. I myself picked them to win the Cup in 5 or 6 games, along with a lot of other hockey analysts as well. This isn’t necessarily because I loathe the shit out of the Bruins, but because the Canucks just outmatch them in terms of skill play…but shit like that doesn’t mean a goddamn thing apparently if you keep getting your ass handed to you on the ice night after night, game after game. As much as I hate admitting it, the Bruins earned this Cup, their first in 39 years. Plus, it was bittersweet in a way finally getting to see Bruin legend Cam Neely lift the Cup over his head. A monster power-forward in his day, Neely (who began his career as a Canuck first ironically enough) retired early due to a degenerative health condition, and sits in the B’s front office today, so seeing him lift the Cup was a happy moment of sorts. And, to be even more totally honest, I enjoyed watching tears drip down the face of Robbie Luongo. All we have to do now is throw some black and white makeup on him and he’ll look like “The Crow” (yeah I said it).

The Boston Bruins are your 2011 Stanley Cup Champions. I’m now taking the over/under how long it takes for Marc Savard to get another concussion due to Milan Lucic accidentally (?) dropping the Cup on his head. Place ‘em now bitches.

The Flyers Free-Agent Futility

The more things change, the more they stay the same. So it is with the Philadelphia Flyers, and they begin to go through another off-season chasing a big-money free-agent that will likely pay little dividends in the end. That free-agent in question is former Phoenix Coyotes goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov; the exclusive negotiating rights of whom the Flyers acquired from the Coyotes in exchange for a minor-leaguer and what little they had left in terms of draft picks. Whether they end up signing Bryzgalov or not before he officially hits free-agent status July 1st is kind of irrelevant when you think about it, especially considering the Flyers’ track record of free-agent futility.

Last season, when the Flyers made a storybook run to the Stanley Cup Finals, goaltending in general was practically irrelevant. On the shoulders of Michael Leighton and Brian Boucher, the Flyers managed to do the impossible and reach the Finals before getting knocked out by the Blackhawks. It was during their run however that many fans and analysts started to realize that you didn’t really need a big-money goaltender to win the Cup, as the Hawks didn’t have one either. While the Flyers’ lack of defense was exposed, they addressed it in the summer that followed by acquiring Andrej Meszaros and Sean O’Donnell, and for a good chunk of this past season, it appeared that those were the right moves to make.

Back to the issue of goaltending however, this is what really proved to be the team’s absolute biggest flaw. They rode rookie Sergei Bobrovsky harder they should have (he started nearly 60 games) and were the only team in the NHL not to record a shutout all season long. Playoff hero Leighton was demoted to the AHL, and veteran Boucher got many of the starts come playoff time, to little avail. So now, a year after declaring that the team didn’t need a big-money goaltender to win it all, GM Paul Holmgren is chasing Bryzgalov, who is going to be commanding a huge salary.

If the Flyers had the salary cap space, signing Bryzgalov wouldn’t be so much of a deal, but they don’t. Even with the salary cap expected to rise up league-wide, they still won’t have enough cash to lock him in. Forwards Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, Danny Briere, Scott Hartnell, Claude Giroux, and Kris Versteeg; combined with defensemen Chris Pronger, Kimmo Timonen, Matt Carle, Brayden Coburn, and Meszaros all amount to almost 90% of the team’s salary cap spending. They won’t be able to re-sign key free-agent forward Ville Leino, nor solid stay-at-home defenseman O’Donnell. Who are the Flyers going to be dumping salary to? The Florida Panthers need plenty of salary to reach the salary floor alone, so that looks like a good trading partner right there. Not to mention the fact that the Flyers have zilch in terms of prospects in the system or draft picks either. Former GM Bobby Clarke used to mortgage the future for veteran players all time until it finally caught up with him, and now it appears that Holmgren is going down the exact same path after the past few years of making some shrewd and great moves and signings.

Then, we look at Bryzgalov himself, the key figure to this whole damn thing. He’s had some really great years in Phoenix, last year in particular when he was a finalist for the Vezina Trophy, but the truth of the matter is that he’s a veteran goaltender who isn’t getting any younger. He won the Cup as a member of the Anaheim Ducks (with Pronger and O’Donnell no less) and knows what it takes to win, but who knows just how many good seasons he has left in him. The team playing in front of him is no doubt talented, but on the losing nights when Philly fans really let their feelings out about how much the team sucks, will he be able to handle it? Personally, I say fuck no.

If it’s one thing that the post-lockout NHL has proven, to win it all, you have to build through the draft. The Flyers definitely have a somewhat decent amount of homegrown talent (Richards, Carter, JVR, Giroux, Bobrovsky) but not nearly enough compared to Cup winners past of the Blackhawks, Penguins, and Red Wings. Depending on what happens this off-season, and the upcoming one as well, it may be time for another complete overhaul in Flyer-land. Personally I hope not, but if it’s one thing Flyers management has always been good at doing, it’s blowing everything the fuck up with little to no logic attached to it, and something tells me that that time isn’t all that far away.

Breaking Down the Stanley Cup Finals

Ah yes, it’s that time of year again, the time of year when there are only two NHL teams left to duke it out for the greatest trophy in all of sports: the Stanley Cup. Our two teams left are the Vancouver Canucks and the Boston Bruins, one team has never won the cup, and the other hasn’t won it in eons. One team is notorious for playing dirty, the other is known for being the most skilled in the league this year. I’m going to try to break down everything you need to know going in to what should be a very entertaining Stanley Cup Finals showdown.

On the side of the Vancouver Canucks, this is a team that has never ever won a Stanley Cup in their entire history. The last time they were in the Finals was 1994 when they ran into the Mark Messier-led New York Rangers, and were heartbroken in seven games. This year’s Canucks team is probably the most impressive team that has ever been assembled in the history of the franchise: Henrik Sedin is the reigning MVP; while his twin brother Daniel Sedin led the league in scoring is up for the MVP this year. Ryan Kesler (remember when the Flyers signed him to an offer sheet?) has transformed into one of the absolute best two-way forwards in the league, and goaltender Roberto Luongo has appeared to finally get the monkey off his back in terms of playoff failures. Those players, plus the stingy defense led by Kevin Bieksa, owned the best regular season record in the NHL, yet nearly got knocked out in the first round by last year’s champs, the Chicago Blackhawks. Despite that though, the Canucks were put together to win it all before the season even started.

On the side of the Boston Bruins, we have some of the dirtiest and nastiest sons of bitches around. Team captain Zdeno Chara is a seven-foot tall monster who practically broke Montreal Canadiens forward Max Pacioretty’s neck as the regular season drew to a close. Oh, and he’s also one of the toughest and best all-around defensemen in the NHL today. Power forward Milan Lucic is a nasty bastard himself, and is practically the reincarnation of Hall of Famer and Bruin legend Cam Neely (who ironically enough, began his career as a Canuck, but I digress), and has the power to change the flow of a game thanks to his style of play. While the Bruins don’t have the same kind of talent that the Canucks possess, they make it up in toughness and leadership, thanks to veteran goalie and Vezina Trophy (goaltender of the year) shoe-in Tim Thomas, and the ageless Mark Recchi, who even at 42, still plays better than most 20-something’s in the league today.

On a head-to-head matchup scale, the Canucks definitely outmatch the Bruins. The Canucks win on the talent scale alone, but the Bruins are definitely the more physical and punishing team. As long as the Canucks don’t let the Bruins style of play throw them off their finesse game, the Cup is as good as theirs. I for one would love to see the Canucks win it all here, but that’s mostly because I hate the Bruins with a passion, and always will.

On a side note here, if you want to try something fun, try and find how many ex-Flyers/Flyers properties are in the Final between both teams (I do this every year and am always shocked at the number I come up with). By my count, I’ve got Mark Recchi, Dennis Seidenberg, Ryan Kesler (signed to an offer sheet), Dan Hamhuis (Flyers owned his rights), and Andrew Alberts by my count.

This is going to be an entertaining series regardless though…all we need to make it sweeter is have a dramatic return of Marc Savard only to get another concussion, and see Tomas Kaberle get his head shoved up his ass by Alex Burrows.

One can only hope anyway…