BLADE RUNNER 2049, AKA DECKARD'S NOT A REPLICANT ANYMORE

It was announced earlier this week that the upcoming sequel to Blade Runner will be titled Blade Runner 2049. Considering the original film took place in 2019, that means this film will be set 30 years later, mostly likely to accommodate the fact that Harrison Ford is now old as fuck. I’ve talked before about how I’m not a fan of this idea at all, mostly because the original film manages to stand on its own (in particular the director’s cut and newer “final cut” which removes the bullshit happy ending and leaves everything open ended…which is pretty much perfect). So of course we’re getting a sequel that no one was asking for just for the sake of getting a few more nostalgia dollars out of an old property that people still revere.

The real issue I have with the concept of Blade Runner 2049 however is the fact that we are seeing basically old man Deckard. Why is this you ask? Well, the age old idea that Deckard is in fact a replicant. This idea was presented very subtly in the film, but everyone from Ford to Ridley Scott has pretty much said that yes, Deckard is indeed a replicant. It didn’t quite take a rocket scientist to figure that out to begin with, but the idea of an old Deckard pretty much means that he’s human. Replicants supposedly have short life spans, or termination dates, that span a couple to a few years. Maybe they’ll keep Deckard a replicant but have a bit of throwaway dialogue explaining that he’s a special one with no termination date? Or maybe Scott will be “na mate, we were just pulling your legs in 1982 about all that, he’s human”.

Blade Runner is a special film, in fact, it’s a visionary film. It was way ahead of its time in terms of aesthetic and theme, and even though it didn’t make much of a splash when it was first released, it managed to resonate with audiences for decades. It’s one of the best films of the 80s in general; one of the best science fiction films ever made, and is probably Ridley Scott’s finest film together with Alien. It doesn’t need a sequel and never has. I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of a sequel/spin-off that focused on new characters in the same universe, and instead leave Deckard’s fate a mystery. Alas, that’s not what’s happening.

So here we are folks, there’s a new Blade Runner film coming, whether we want it or not. Fuck this noise.

The BLADE RUNNER Sequel That No One Wanted is Coming

....sigh.....

Remember that sequel to "Blade Runner" you were hoping would one day become a reality? Yeah, I don't either.

Either way though, we're getting it, as Ridley Scott continues to mine his past work in a self-destructive/semi-masturbatory way to squeeze some more cash out of classic properties. Unlike with "Prometheus" and the upcoming "Alien: Covenant" (sweet baby Jesus I didn't realize how dumb that title sounds until I just said it out loud), Scott will only be serving as a producer on the "Blade Runner" sequel, which also sees the original film's co-screenwriter Hampton Fancher returning, as well as Harrison Ford as Rick Deckard. The film is set decades after the end of the original, and will apparently answer some questions the first film left unanswered...

...which sounds fucking horrible.

One of the things that always made "Blade Runner" stick out to me was its ambiguity. I like the fact that the film doesn't spell things out for you like nearly every film released for mainstream audiences has the need to do. So I guess we'll get flat out told if Deckard is a replicant or not? Or maybe they'll just have Ryan Gosling (who is starring in the film) do a shitty and needless voiceover narration to explain things that don't need explaining?

The original "Blade Runner" was a victim of studio interference. That's why there's half a dozen different versions/cuts of the film. Considering all that interference and the fact that the film's studio never had that much faith in it to begin with, does it really warrant a follow up? Can't it just be left alone for fuck's sake?

Oh well, at least it's not getting a remake...

...until the sequel bombs terribly and it's decided that it should be rebooted from the ground up because somebody somewhere still thinks they can squeeze some more cash out of it.

Ridley Scott is a Bloody Twat

Ridley Scott is a visionary director, there's no bullshitting about that. Look through that filmography of his: "Blade Runner", "Thelma & Louise", "Gladiator", "Black Hawk Down", etc. Oh yeah...and "Alien". Now I had said some time before that "District 9" director Neill Blomkamp was going to be helming his own entry into the "Alien" franchise that would ignore "Alien 3" and "Alien: Resurrection", and instead be a direct sequel to "Aliens".

That's right: we'd get Ripley, Hicks, Newt, and Bishop back, and pretend that the last two "Alien" movies never fucking happened. This was awesome news when first revealed months ago to go along with Blomkamp's concept art. Needless to say, even though it was probably against our better judgment, we were pretty much looking forward to it. Not to mention the fact Ridley Scott was going to be gracing us with a sequel to "Prometheus"...for some odd reason. Yes, it finally seemed like a good time to be a fan of the "Alien" franchise.

Then Blomkamp's film got thrown in the shitter because Scott decided his film was more of a priority, and so would be all the sequels it would birth.

Now here's the thing: any other time I really wouldn't care in all honesty. "Alien" is something that is near and dear to me and always will be, and I remember all the hype and hoopla surrounding "Prometheus" in 2012. Scott had claimed this really wasn't a prequel to "Alien", but something that takes place in the same universe rather. Well, after middling box office and reception, I guess either Scott or 20th Century Fox decided let's get on the prequel series train right the fuck right now, hence why "Prometheus 2" is now known as "Alien: Paradise Lost"...or is it "Alien: Covenant"...or maybe it'll be some other generic ass title instead.

What we have here is Ridley Scott pissing all over his own legacy. The original "Alien", as we all know, is a classic of science fiction and horror cinema. It put Scott on the map as a visionary director, and marked the beginning of one of the most beloved horror/sci-fi franchises in cinema history. The beauty of it all was that the original film is just so simple when you think about it: it's basically a slasher movie on a spaceship with a few clever surprises and original ideas thrown in along with brilliant acting and set design. These new films, while no doubt will more than likely be sights to behold (Scott's films are marvels of cinematography and just have a feeling of large-scale epicness) are little more than studio-pushed cash-grabs, and the fact that Scott will be in the director's chair for them is just disappointing.

So yeah...can you tell I'm not looking forward to it?

Oh, Ridley Scott is working on a sequel to "Blade Runner" too. Upon further examination, I have come to the conclusion that Ridley Scott is a cunt.

More "Prometheus"? More "Alien"? MORE SHIT!

Remember a while back when I talked about Neill Blomkamp making a new "Alien" movie? Well yes, that's still happening (allegedly), but that's not the only "Alien"-related film we'll be getting. Ridley Scott, director of the original "Alien" and its recent, less than well-received semi-prequel "Prometheus" has announced that the latter film is indeed getting a sequel, albeit with a brand new title that literally almost none of us really saw coming:

"Alien: Paradise Lost".

So much for not being a prequel and just a separate, stand-alone film that takes place in the same universe huh?

That was the line of shit we were given before and during the original release for "Prometheus" in 2012 and beforehand, that it wasn't a traditional prequel, but would tell its own story, just in the same universe. Considering how lukewarm the reception for that film ended up being, it's not surprising that the suits at Fox more than likely told Scott "make it a straight prequel to fucking 'Alien', right fucking now". In fact, that's what I'm betting actually happened.

For all its flaws, I found "Prometheus" to be an intriguing film. It was predictable and not as enjoyable as I had hoped it would be, but it is beautifully shot, well-acted, and the surgical "abortion" scene is fucking horrifying. It just didn't end up being as epic in scope as we had all hoped it would be, and honestly made little sense in the grand scheme of things...which pretty much meant from the get-go we were going to get a sequel no matter what.

So now that's not just one, but two "Alien"-related films are on the horizon (with Scott allegedly producing Blomkamp's film as well). Who would have thought? "Alien Resurrection" in all honestly should have been the final nail in the "Alien" franchise's coffin (I don't count the "Alien VS Predator" movies) and here we are now in 2015 knowing that we're getting a couple more...and also knowing that both will probably kind of suck if we're being honest with ourselves. They'll look beautiful for sure, but will more than likely suck donkey cock.

Now I know I'm being a negative nancy as usual and such, and believe me no one is hoping these films are amazing more than I am, but I've been through this too much with this fucking franchise to know much better.

Is there any way we can get Lance Henriksen to star in both films? Please?

My Thoughts on a "Blade Runner" Sequel

When it comes to hard science fiction films, they rarely get better than Blade Runner. A 1982 film adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” the film was directed by then up-and-comer Ridley Scott, who was hot off the success of the original Alien and starred Harrison Ford in the role of cyborg hunter Rick Deckard. Though it ultimately failed at the box office when originally released, over the years that followed the film gained a cult following, which blossomed into Blade Runner being renowned as a classic of the genre.

Now, here we are in 2011, and Ridley Scott, who in the years since directed such films as Thelma & Louise, Gladiator, Hannibal, Kingdom of Heaven, and Robin Hood among others, has announced his intention to direct a full-fledged sequel.

Yes folks, nearly 30 years later, and we’re getting a sequel to Blade Runner…whether we want one or not.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see more of a look into the dystopian future that Scott adapted from PKD, but for the life of me I can’t imagine a sequel in this day and age that could really carry the flame of what the original film was all about, even if it was directed by fucking Ridley Scott. Personally, I just think Scott’s gone crazy since he decided to direct the upcoming Alien prequel Prometheus (due out next year, and so far it looks wicked) and now he wants to return to the well so to speak by revisiting the genre and films that helped him make a name for himself in the first place.

Yet somehow, I kind of do want to see a Blade Runner sequel. As great as the original film was, it wasn’t quite all that faithful to the source material. I’d love to see a more faithful look at the world PKD visualized, and with what Scott was able to accomplish back in 1982, the sky is literally the limit as to what he and his crew could craft today.

No matter what happens, as of right now this is all hypothetical and only in the planning stages at best. This may never happen, and there’s a strong possibility that it may not. For all intents and purposes, Blade Runner is a cult classic that doesn’t have a gigantic following, even though it is a beloved film now and forever. If anything I always figured someone would get the bright idea to remake it…and now that I’ve said that, watch Scott drop out but the studio decide to go ahead and green light a remake…probably starring a douche bag from Twilight and be directed by Brett Ratner.

Shit…sorry for jinxing it folks.