In Memory of Chyna and Her Place in the Hall of Fame

The pro wrestling geek in me is weeping. Actually a decent part of me is weeping to be honest. Joanie Laurer, better known as Chyna, has sadly passed away. Yes I know that Prince died too, but I'm not here to talk about Prince, I'm here to talk about Chyna.

Making her debut in WWF in early 1997, Chyna was a true pioneer for women wrestlers. Billed as the bodyguard for Triple H (who would become her off-screen boyfriend), no WWF fan had ever seen a woman like Chyna. With her harsh demeanor and rippling biceps, she looked like a force to be reckoned with, and that's exactly what she was. During the WWF's "Attitude" era, Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock are usually seen as the faces of this era, and so is Chyna. She played an integral role in many storylines as well as being a founding member of the loveable faction DX, and was incredibly over with the crowd as well.

She was the first female entrant to the Royal Rumble as well as the King of the Ring tournament, is the only female to hold the Intercontinental Championship (twice), and was even the number one contender for the Heavyweight Title as well. That is fucking unheard of now when you think about it. While all the other women performers in WWF at the time were mostly eye candy (and booked as such), Chyna was something else. She was flat out legit, and truly gifted as well.

Her time in WWF ended badly, as she was seemingly given a raw deal when Triple H started porking the bosses' daughter Stephanie McMahon and Chyna found herself jobless. Things took a bit of a downturn for her personally, but I'm not judging her one bit. We all know she performed in some porn, but so fucking what? She never had anything negative to say about that industry and she seemed to enjoy her time there, so stop shitting on her already about that yeah?

Now, one thing that has always bothered me is that Chyna has never been inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Reasons for this range from her time in porn to the fact that the WWE brass didn't trust her enough to get up on stage and accept her award without verbally trashing the company in some way. Can't have that now can we. That being said, and as terrible as it sounds, now that she's passed, she will most certainly get in. The sad part is she should have been put in a long time ago. Anyone who says different is a moron. "She did porn!" So what? Look at who's in the Hall of Fame right now:

Ultimate Warrior: a known homophobe and bigot

Randy Savage: probably boned Stephanie McMahon when she was underage (true)

Sunny: she's done porn and is a flat-out nutcase in real life

Scott Hall: killed a guy and had way worse drug problems than Chyna ever did

Jake Roberts: see above (though replace killing a guy with killing his snake)

Jimmy Snuka: possibly murdered his girlfriend

So yeah, Chyna belongs in the Hall of Fame, and she will more than likely get in there very, very soon. It's just a damn shame that she didn't live to see it happen.

Rest in peace Chyna. We love you.

Hulk Hogan is Stupid...but Don't Kill His Legacy

I really didn't want to touch this situation with a ten foot pole, but I guess I'm going to anyway....shit.

Anyway, apparently Hulk Hogan made some kind of racist rant...that wasn't really so much a rant as most are spinning it, but that doesn't negate the fact that the Hulkster still said some...well, calling them "questionable" is an understatement, but no matter how you look at it, it doesn't change anything. Hogan said some shit he really shouldn't have said, and that's the end of the story.

Predictably, Hogan got fired from WWE...and apparently they are working on scrubbing Hogan's history from their record books, etc.

That in itself is a bit overkill don't you think?

Now Hogan getting shit-canned is one thing, but wiping away his whole history in the business is something else entirely. He was the focal point of pro wrestling as a whole attaining heights that the business had never come close to reaching before. He turned into a multi-national, global phenomenon. I know every single kid in my generation got turned onto pro wrestling because of Hulk Hogan (mostly), and then years later got re-wrangled back into wrestling when Hogan did his legendary heel turn as leader of the nWo.

To put it lightly, pro wrestling wouldn't be close to what it is today without having Hulk Hogan as the face of the business.

Like I said, I can understand firing him over it (which is really just WWE pulling damage control and nothing else, anyone that knows anything about the business knows that Vince McMahon isn't quite ethnicity friendly), but wiping away his legacy? That's overkill. Why do you ask? Well, think about it like this:

Ultimate Warrior, who was inducted into the Hall of Fame last year shortly before he passed away, was a known bigot and homophobe, professing as such during his public and motivational speaking days.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage, who was just recently posthumously inducted into the Hall of Fame, allegedly boned Vince's then underage daughter Stephanie, and was also known as a total control freak behind the scenes that led to many fallouts with fellow wrestlers as well as his real life ex-wife (and on-screen manager) Ms. Elizabeth.

Scott Hall, AKA Razor Ramon, who was also recently inducted into the Hall of Fame, was and is known as a notorious drug addict, alcoholic, and overall violent man that legitimately KILLED a guy decades prior.

Other guys that have huge legacies with the company and wrestling as a whole, like Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, X-Pac, and more besides, have done their fair share of scummy shit over the years that has become public knowledge, but regardless of that have good standing with the company somehow. The only wrestler whose legacy was erased by WWE was Chris Benoit, which was totally justifiable, but then again, he murdered his fucking family. Hulk Hogan said ignorant and overall stupid shit. He was punished accordingly, it should be left at that. Especially after so many other wrestlers who have worked with him over the years have come out and supported him in the wake of this, even those of color.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating Hogan's idiotic comments in the least, I just think things are getting taken a bit too far. I'm sure I'll get called out on it, which is one of the reasons I haven't said much about it since the news broke. Either way, don't pretend that the man didn't put his all into his profession, because that's almost as ignorant as the shit that spewed from his mouth that got him fired.

Oh, and if it's one thing that should get Hogan's legacy erased, I'd say it's a dead heat between the unintentionally hilarious sex tape he was a part of, and starring in that one "3 Ninjas" movie. Fucking hell.

Why We Love "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

My heart broke when hearing about the passing of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Undoubtedly one of the best talkers in pro wrestling history (and quite possibly THE best), Roddy Piper made quite a lasting impression, not just on me, but on our whole generation. The fact that he managed to accomplish such a thing without ever being a massive mega star like Hulk Hogan, "Mach Man" Randy Savage, or The Ultimate Warrior, isn't just impressive, it's fucking astonishing.

His amazing shit-talking on the mic combined with his legitimate in-ring skill made Piper a surprising fan favorite...considering he was a heel (AKA, a villain for those unfamiliar with pro wrestling terminology). In fact, Piper was recently voted the best heel in WWE history if I'm not mistaken. How did he manage to accomplish such a feat? Because even though we were supposed to hate this guy, we pretty much couldn't. And if we did, we loved to hate him. His magnetic personality and natural charisma made him one of the absolute greatest character wrestlers of his era.

Not to mention the fact that, for me personally, Piper starred in one of my all time favorite horror films: John Carpenter's "They Live". Piper would go on to star in other sci-fi and action fare; most of which were direct to video trash, but despite that, Piper always came off as likeable and never turned in a shit performance that I can recall off the top of my head.

In my early teens I met Piper (very briefly) at a WCW show during the nWo era of the Monday Night Wars. He was warm with a big 'ol shit-eating grin on his face. Years later, I came across him several more times at various horror conventions, and his magnetic personality shined through in the midst of a surprising amount of people begging him for autographs. I say surprising because I always thought that people that were/are wrestling fans would think it a bit weird if I'd tell them my favorite wrestler from that 80s golden age was Piper...but the true surprise came at a number of those cons when I realized just how much he meant to so many people.

That was "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. The masterful shit-talker. The man that could put on a five-star match with no problem no matter who he was put up against. The man who went from wrestler into acting and back again without losing a beat. The man who had natural born attitude that was always more than just a "character".

Rest in peace Roddy. We miss you already.