The BLADE RUNNER Sequel That No One Wanted is Coming

....sigh.....

Remember that sequel to "Blade Runner" you were hoping would one day become a reality? Yeah, I don't either.

Either way though, we're getting it, as Ridley Scott continues to mine his past work in a self-destructive/semi-masturbatory way to squeeze some more cash out of classic properties. Unlike with "Prometheus" and the upcoming "Alien: Covenant" (sweet baby Jesus I didn't realize how dumb that title sounds until I just said it out loud), Scott will only be serving as a producer on the "Blade Runner" sequel, which also sees the original film's co-screenwriter Hampton Fancher returning, as well as Harrison Ford as Rick Deckard. The film is set decades after the end of the original, and will apparently answer some questions the first film left unanswered...

...which sounds fucking horrible.

One of the things that always made "Blade Runner" stick out to me was its ambiguity. I like the fact that the film doesn't spell things out for you like nearly every film released for mainstream audiences has the need to do. So I guess we'll get flat out told if Deckard is a replicant or not? Or maybe they'll just have Ryan Gosling (who is starring in the film) do a shitty and needless voiceover narration to explain things that don't need explaining?

The original "Blade Runner" was a victim of studio interference. That's why there's half a dozen different versions/cuts of the film. Considering all that interference and the fact that the film's studio never had that much faith in it to begin with, does it really warrant a follow up? Can't it just be left alone for fuck's sake?

Oh well, at least it's not getting a remake...

...until the sequel bombs terribly and it's decided that it should be rebooted from the ground up because somebody somewhere still thinks they can squeeze some more cash out of it.

Ridley Scott is a Bloody Twat

Ridley Scott is a visionary director, there's no bullshitting about that. Look through that filmography of his: "Blade Runner", "Thelma & Louise", "Gladiator", "Black Hawk Down", etc. Oh yeah...and "Alien". Now I had said some time before that "District 9" director Neill Blomkamp was going to be helming his own entry into the "Alien" franchise that would ignore "Alien 3" and "Alien: Resurrection", and instead be a direct sequel to "Aliens".

That's right: we'd get Ripley, Hicks, Newt, and Bishop back, and pretend that the last two "Alien" movies never fucking happened. This was awesome news when first revealed months ago to go along with Blomkamp's concept art. Needless to say, even though it was probably against our better judgment, we were pretty much looking forward to it. Not to mention the fact Ridley Scott was going to be gracing us with a sequel to "Prometheus"...for some odd reason. Yes, it finally seemed like a good time to be a fan of the "Alien" franchise.

Then Blomkamp's film got thrown in the shitter because Scott decided his film was more of a priority, and so would be all the sequels it would birth.

Now here's the thing: any other time I really wouldn't care in all honesty. "Alien" is something that is near and dear to me and always will be, and I remember all the hype and hoopla surrounding "Prometheus" in 2012. Scott had claimed this really wasn't a prequel to "Alien", but something that takes place in the same universe rather. Well, after middling box office and reception, I guess either Scott or 20th Century Fox decided let's get on the prequel series train right the fuck right now, hence why "Prometheus 2" is now known as "Alien: Paradise Lost"...or is it "Alien: Covenant"...or maybe it'll be some other generic ass title instead.

What we have here is Ridley Scott pissing all over his own legacy. The original "Alien", as we all know, is a classic of science fiction and horror cinema. It put Scott on the map as a visionary director, and marked the beginning of one of the most beloved horror/sci-fi franchises in cinema history. The beauty of it all was that the original film is just so simple when you think about it: it's basically a slasher movie on a spaceship with a few clever surprises and original ideas thrown in along with brilliant acting and set design. These new films, while no doubt will more than likely be sights to behold (Scott's films are marvels of cinematography and just have a feeling of large-scale epicness) are little more than studio-pushed cash-grabs, and the fact that Scott will be in the director's chair for them is just disappointing.

So yeah...can you tell I'm not looking forward to it?

Oh, Ridley Scott is working on a sequel to "Blade Runner" too. Upon further examination, I have come to the conclusion that Ridley Scott is a cunt.

More "Prometheus"? More "Alien"? MORE SHIT!

Remember a while back when I talked about Neill Blomkamp making a new "Alien" movie? Well yes, that's still happening (allegedly), but that's not the only "Alien"-related film we'll be getting. Ridley Scott, director of the original "Alien" and its recent, less than well-received semi-prequel "Prometheus" has announced that the latter film is indeed getting a sequel, albeit with a brand new title that literally almost none of us really saw coming:

"Alien: Paradise Lost".

So much for not being a prequel and just a separate, stand-alone film that takes place in the same universe huh?

That was the line of shit we were given before and during the original release for "Prometheus" in 2012 and beforehand, that it wasn't a traditional prequel, but would tell its own story, just in the same universe. Considering how lukewarm the reception for that film ended up being, it's not surprising that the suits at Fox more than likely told Scott "make it a straight prequel to fucking 'Alien', right fucking now". In fact, that's what I'm betting actually happened.

For all its flaws, I found "Prometheus" to be an intriguing film. It was predictable and not as enjoyable as I had hoped it would be, but it is beautifully shot, well-acted, and the surgical "abortion" scene is fucking horrifying. It just didn't end up being as epic in scope as we had all hoped it would be, and honestly made little sense in the grand scheme of things...which pretty much meant from the get-go we were going to get a sequel no matter what.

So now that's not just one, but two "Alien"-related films are on the horizon (with Scott allegedly producing Blomkamp's film as well). Who would have thought? "Alien Resurrection" in all honestly should have been the final nail in the "Alien" franchise's coffin (I don't count the "Alien VS Predator" movies) and here we are now in 2015 knowing that we're getting a couple more...and also knowing that both will probably kind of suck if we're being honest with ourselves. They'll look beautiful for sure, but will more than likely suck donkey cock.

Now I know I'm being a negative nancy as usual and such, and believe me no one is hoping these films are amazing more than I am, but I've been through this too much with this fucking franchise to know much better.

Is there any way we can get Lance Henriksen to star in both films? Please?