Rebooting the DC Universe...and it fucking blows.

It was announced today, to the surprise of relatively no one within the comic book world, that DC will be doing an industry-wide reboot of their universe and most of their respective characters. This is something that many fanboys (myself included) figured would happen sometime soon (it wasn’t that long ago that Wonder Woman got a quick redux with a new costume, identity, and overall backstory) and now here we are. But why though? Why must we go through yet another re-imagining of our favorite iconic characters?

To coincide with the release of the final issue of “Flashpoint” (the current summer mega-event that promises reality changing events in the DC universe), things are changing big time for Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, The Flash, and the rest of the costumed pricks that populate the DC world. Why you ask? That’s a good question…so let’s take a look back at some of the previous “universe shattering” events that DC was behind.

In 1985, DC Comics released the 12-issue maxi-series “Crisis on Infinite Earths”, which was pretty much the first true publisher-wide “reboot” in comic book history. “CoIE” merged all of the multiple universes and versions of characters into one universe in an effort to condense and streamline their many properties to draw in new readers without confusing the ever-loving shit out of them, and for the most part, it worked. Instead of there being multiple Superman’s and Batman’s populating different Earths with differing back stories and such, we now had one of each, and it made things so much better in the long run.

Fast forward to 2005/2006 with “Infinite Crisis”, another company-wide crossover event that DID NOT streamline anything in terms of continuity, but instead made it a little more confusing to outside readers by resurrecting old characters that bit the dust in “CoIE” as a sort of love letter to long time DC Comics readers. This worked for the most part as well, even though it reintroduced the ideas of alternate worlds and alternate takes on various characters.

Now, here we are in 2011, and I guess the brass at DC has decided that it’s time to say “fuck it” to everything again and try to start over fresh. I can understand the idea about trying to draw in new readers, but the fact of the matter is that DC is alienating their longtime readers in doing so. I myself have been much more a fan of DC’s stuff than Marvel’s for nearly a decade now, mostly due to the fact that Marvel has the habit of rebooting their characters every five years or so in an effort to keep them “hip” for new generation after new generation, ad-nauseum.

Yes, I will read “Flashpoint” when it comes out in trade form, only because I want to see how superhero writer extraordinaire Geoff Johns changes everything and attempts to wipe the slate clean. Personally, I only give it about another five years (at best) until the old continuity gets re-introduced and we start all over again. Maybe by that time I’ll be willing to give the DC superhero universe another shot…but until then I’ll be sticking with my indie and horror comics and give the douche bags in tights a long break.

See y’all in the funnybooks folks…maybe.