Another year over, another year starts. The same old shit cycle continues. 2015 for me kind of totally fucking sucked ass, except for a few bright spots sprinkled throughout. That aside, 2016 is going to be...pretty much the same I think.
Anyway, we're going balls deep into 2016 right fucking now, so I've prepared some good old fashioned New Year's Resolutions...of which every single one I intend to keep. Strap yourselves in assholes, here we go with the resolutions and promises I'm making for this year:
That I intend to fill out my vintage porn collection
That I'll cut my daily masturbation rituals down from six times a day to five
That I will stop wasting my money on cigarettes and steal them instead
That I will no longer refer to the act of fisting as "Puppetwork"
That I will stop dying my socks pink and calling them "wearable prolapsed rectums"
That I won't automatically hate something because it's popular
That I will actually have TAPES all finished by the end of this year
All I can say for sure is that it's probably only the first resolution up there that will actually really happen. The rest of it can fuck on off (though TAPES is coming along nicely finally).
Happy New Year's you fuckin degenerates.
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